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Why the concerns about "coming out"?

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Is it really necessary to make the world aware of our sexual orientation? There are a million ways for you to be happy than in wanting the world to know and then complaining that not many accept it. If you're living your life without problems continue on that path instead of deciding out of the blue to come out to your mother, father, grandmother, puppy or whoever else in your life.

Sorry if this comes off as cynical I got a bit tired of seeing everyone wanting to come out and creating problems for themselves and stressing out their families. .

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  • Aha, so we're expected to lie to our families forever?

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  • 12-16_f_b_h1_f2
    Experience

    It's not that people don't accept it, it's that we have zero rights to live just as freely as them. I have to leave my family and my life here because no one accepts it here and I can't live with a partner and have a family. I don't care about what the world thinks, but I do care about my family. I want to come out to my family, not because I want to 'create problems', but because I want to be loved and accepted by my parents. Their acceptance would mean the world to me and there is *nothing* wrong with that. There is nothing wrong with wanting to share the joys of your life with the people who have always been there with you. Nothing wrong with wanting to stop lying to them and hiding from them. Sometimes I feel like I'm in a prison, constantly keeping myself in check, afraid that I'd slip, scared that I'll get forced to marry a stranger, always afraid that I'll be found out. And I'm not the only one. A lot of us feel trapped and that is why we want to come out. It's not to create problems or be oh such a burden on our families, it's to be free. And there is, as I said before, nothing wrong with that.

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    yes otherwise i will not be able to attend ur marriage we need to take our rights

    Reply to ARahman
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  • I see both points of view. On the one hand, coming out can be liberating and feel extremely necessary--who likes to live a double life? But on the other hand for many of us coming out means ending many of our close family relationships, I can see how at a certain point living openly starts to outweigh the potential consequences. For examply I see this happening for many of my older gay friends--their long term partners and children need to be seen and accepted by everyone, and they have enough safety and financial and emotional independence to deal with the consequences of potential rejection. But for some people coming out never outweighs the consequences, like if it means they're going to lose their family forever or face physical violence. So I feel compassion for both!

    Reply to femmeprincess
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  • 12-16_f_b_h1_f2
    Experience

    I will point out, that a lot of us think really carefully before coming out to our families and loved ones. It's a big decision and reasons vary with all. For a lot it's because they are sick of living a lie with the people who mean so much to them. It takes a lot of courage, so please don't disrespect that.

    Reply to Huma
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  • 17-24_f_w_h3_f2
    Comment

    It becomes absolutely necessary for people who haven't ever considered the issues of equality. So when we come out to certain individuals, whether it be to a family member or a friend, them knowing that about us allows them to think differently about the whole situation.

    Also, there are some things heterosexuals don't have to worry about.. Example, simply being married. That sort of security is unfortunately not provided to the LGBTQ community and especially in this part of the world.

    I think that the best part of coming out is bringing forth a positive and stable exemplar.

    Reply to Awktopus
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  • 17-24_f_w_h2_f1
    Comment

    If the minorities don't stand up for themselves, they will always be trampled on by the world. Who anyone sleeps with is nobody's business, but then people degrade and mistreat us because of our sexuality. We have to raise awareness and fight for our rights to make our lives better for us and those like us in the future. That cannot be achieved if we are all always in hiding.

    Reply to Edel
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