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Introverted queers

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Being introverted and unsocial is hard
Feeling rejected already although people don't know who you really are is not encouraging for a queer person to face the world
Does being queer means you are introverted by default ?
If so, why are some people good at dealing with it & manage to feel loved & accepted while some others can't!

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  • 17-24_f_b_h1_f2
    Experience

    it's very hard indeed. i am also an extreme introvert. but there are many extrovert queers and introverted straight people, it has to do with our personalities and not our sexuality. but i think being queer AND introvert adds another layer because in a way, even queer extroverts have to hide large parts of who they are so they can't truly be their normal selves which i think triggers them. thats why so many queer people are outspoken but in our societies we tend to hide because of social norms and how we've been conditioned.

    i think those who manage to deal with it typically have support from friends and colleagues who understand them. or maybe they are introverts externally but within their own circle they can be more active and outgoing. i have definitely experienced this myself, when i find friends i relate to i talk a lot more, go out a lot more, and suppress my introvertness. but this varies from one person to the other and not all of us are lucky enough to find these friendships and networks where we can be our real selves with no filters.

    do you have a group of friends who you trust to be yourself around? do you find that your introvertness hinders your ability to make new friends?

    • Thank you for sharing your experience and yes my introvertness keeps me friendless + I do have trust issues when it comes to meeting new people or making new friends so I suffer alone in silence.

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  • 51-65_f_f_h1_f3
    Comment

    "Does being queer means you are introverted by default?"

    No not at all but as skyflake said it does add to it if you already are an introvert. It makes it harder to be authentic, and we tend to stay quieter not to reveal our identities.

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  • 17-24_f_w_h2_f2
    Advice

    i am very introverted, although i have always been like that before i realized i was gay. but it may be because of my beliefs and who i am. i believe it all comes down to the environment you live in. living in a place where most people will most likely not accept you, such as conservative spaces, is.. hard. however, if you are with people who accept you for who you are, with like-minded people, then i am sure you would be a chatterbox. you should try meeting other queer people, or people who are liberal.

    Reply to dumho
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  • Yeah as they all said. Introversion is a characteristic that is separate from sexuality.

    However, once you come to terms with your sexuality (when it's not heterosexual) - it's harder to find friends in Arab countries especially that are open minded and honest, so we might turn to introversion simply because we are no longer comfortable with "outsiders".

    The introverted queer community is pretty large, though!

    Reply to Disintegrate_Narrate
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  • 17-24_f_w_h2_f4
    Experience

    I define myself as bi, and, very highly introverted to a devastating extent that Im starting to just feel destructed more and more day by day. Every once in a while I get dumped/abandoned by the person I had hopes on. I dont even know if this is a flaw of mine or am I just really unlucky. Some friends (straight friends) left me because I am attracted to the same sex, and some had other reasons; but they're all just heartbreaking. People treat introverted people harshly and I dont fucking know why, especially if their thoughts are different... We have feelings and its hard for us to deal with people we need special care please understand this... Yet no one does. We end up being told that we think too high of ourselves to an extent we dont share much convos etc.. But really it's all about the hardship our brains go through when dealing with new human beings day by day and feeling that our bubble is invaded when its the only thing we have. Maybe im just a miserable asshole, but what i think, is its not about your sexuality; not a bit, its about who u are and how ur life affected you and your actions. This will let you be a loving person, or a highly prejudged person. I dont even know if this has to do with ur question; I just came here cause I have no one to share my thoughts with. I love you; whoever you are reading this till the end.

    Reply to Vicadin
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