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Do anyone else think this way?! i desperately need help.. and please don't ignore me.

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I know I’m different, I have always known that, whether I’m born this way or something made me this way, I actually stopped asking myself that, I also can’t see myself a good Muslim to be honest I try to pray but I always feel like I’m lying to myself even though I haven’t done anything sexually or even admitted who I’m to anyone, but my question is this. When something bad happens like i recently had an accident and now i got a terminal scar on the back of my head, or when I get high expectations on anything I always seem to get disappointed, so I constantly tell myself that this is god’s punishment for who I’m and for having thoughts for the same sex, whenever anything bad happens I always tell myself well you deserved it because of who you are, obviously it’s a very sad and a negative life I’m living, but am I the only one who have these thoughts please do help me and is it normal to always think that way.

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  • 17-24_f_w_h2_f4
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    I used to think like that at first, but then i realized i didn't ask for it! it wasn't my choice to make, so i'm not the one to blame, The idea of punishment puts being a lesbian or a Bi or gay as a bad thing, but It's not, maybe our society made us think this way. The bad thing here is not being able to determine what we really are cuz of lack of freedom and free will to choose. If we were able to be in a normal relationship with no fear of shame or society rejection maybe our life would have taken a different direction. at least a relief.

    • 51-65_f_f_h1_f3
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      Totally agreed, so just know that you're not the only one, I spent so many years feeling guilty and hated myself for being gay, thought I was a weird pervert or something until I realized just how normal it all is. Even reconciling with our religion is more common than you think, there are so many religious gay people in Muslim communities all over the world. I'm no longer ashamed and I don't let myself experience the guilt any longer, it's not a fair way to live and we deserve better for ourselves.

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  • 10/6/2017

    Okay so it seems your fear and misfortune emanates from the fact you have homosexual feelings and that things go bad its how God is punishing you for that.

    Being muslim, does the Quran say you get punished for having homosexual feelings? NO. If you believe Quran is what Allah says then there is your answer he didnt say that.

    Does evil or misfortune happen to people? Yes and everyday everyone gets disappointed with something not turning the way they planned or something happens to them from time to time no one in this world is immune to that.

    My point is you need to recognise that these things you are facing are not as a result of your feeings at all. But in reality its your mind trying to find the blame point. So your mind is cheating you that oh you know what its because of your feelings bad things happen. If that was the case, straight people would be living like Kings right? But how many straight people you know that are struggling??

    Dont victimize your soul, you are not evil. Try to tune your mind to think positively about Allah, about Islam, about your culture and most importantly about yourself so that your thoughts also change to being positive insha Allah

    Reply to Afrabrules
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    I can tell you one thing. Scientists have proved that homosexuality is purely genetic. So it is very possible that your ancestors experienced same sex attraction but may not have attacked upon it or never got a chance to explore it during that time. That being said, homosexuality cannot be a punishment from god. There are wonderful people in this world and wonderful homosexual people in this world that have families and live happily.
    There are many horrible people that exist in this world too because of the choices they make. If homosexuality was really a punishment, Allah would have punished them too, right?
    It depends on the society you are brought up in too. Because most of us live in a society where homosexuality is illegal and not accepted, we look at it as a negative thing and think we were punished because we think no one will accept us.
    But for people born in the western world that is more accepting, people don't care about their sexuality and are accepted everywhere. They live their life, they find love and get married. Some people also look at it as a blessing because they are happy to experience love in any form.

    Reply to Komz
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    Anonymous
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    I'm related to this post and actually i haven't figured it out yet , all i think about is as you said "it's god's punishment for me for being a girl who likes girls" maybe we are wrong or maybe not idk. I hope for you to find inner peace as i hope for myself too.

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  • 17-24_f_w_h1_f3
    Experience

    I have the exact same feelings but not for the same reasons.
    I'm not lesbian or a bisexual, I'm just confused.
    Regardless of that, I've always been unfortunate when it comes to the course of my life, people I meet, accomplishment I tend to start or simply dreams and expectations.
    And I always think that maybe God hates me, I deserve this, or that's life's punishment and I have to accept it.
    I came to realize that I feel this way because of a great feeling of self hate, insecurity and low self esteem.
    I guess what you'll need to do is to start accepting yourself first as a person and a beautiful human being because you're, no matter what you've done or came across. Then accepting your sexuality no matter what it is because it is YOU and YOU are not a bad person for doing what makes you happy. You're just.. alive.

    Reply to Nourr
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