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Do anyone else think this way?! i desperately need help.. and please don't ignore me.

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I know I’m different, I have always known that, whether I’m born this way or something made me this way, I actually stopped asking myself that, I also can’t see myself a good Muslim to be honest I try to pray but I always feel like I’m lying to myself even though I haven’t done anything sexually or even admitted who I’m to anyone, but my question is this. When something bad happens like i recently had an accident and now i got a terminal scar on the back of my head, or when I get high expectations on anything I always seem to get disappointed, so I constantly tell myself that this is god’s punishment for who I’m and for having thoughts for the same sex, whenever anything bad happens I always tell myself well you deserved it because of who you are, obviously it’s a very sad and a negative life I’m living, but am I the only one who have these thoughts please do help me and is it normal to always think that way.

  • 17-24_f_w_h2_f4

    I used to think like that at first, but then i realized i didn't ask for it! it wasn't my choice to make, so i'm not the one to blame, The idea of punishment puts being a lesbian or a Bi or gay as a bad thing, but It's not, maybe our society made us think this way. The bad thing here is not being able to determine what we really are cuz of lack of freedom and free will to choose. If we were able to be in a normal relationship with no fear of shame or society rejection maybe our life would have taken a different direction. at least a relief.

    Reply to She-La-La
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