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I am back

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Wow, it's been such a long time since I last visited the forum and there has also been so many changes going on in my life.
So the reason why I just disappeared all of a sudden was because even though I am 22 already, my parents think it is okay to search my phone and read my chats.
So long story short, my mother found out about my sexuality, even though all she found was intellectual conversations about it with strangers and no sexting or whatever it was still a disaster to her.
She tried to get me a therapist who spoke about homosexuality in the most ignorant way possible but at the same time wanted to treat my depression, it was seriously hell.
I was also given limited access to Internet and that explains why I could not be here for long.
So here I am, pretending to be totally straight so that I can avoid trouble until I become independent or find a way to leave this country.
But hey there's a bright side after all, I learned to trust my friends because I talked to them about it and came out to most of them and they all had my back, so it's not that bad.
And now that it has almost 6 months since what happened, I can safely return to posting here. I missed this place .

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  • 25-34_f_w_h3_f2
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    First, I'm really sorry you had to go through that! It sucks when you don't have any privacy especially around family. For me it makes a huge difference when I am able to talk to other people about my identity, so not having access to do that would change my life in a negative way.

    Hope also you find your way to total independence. Until then, just know that you will always have a home and friends here Welcome back!!

    Reply to Reem
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  • 35-50_f_f_h1_f2
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    First welcome back and i am so sorry for all you have gone through,it is very difficult like Reem said to be controlled and not being able to do the simple things in life freely and at any time we want like surfing the net or talking to whoever ,i am glad u r back and u r safe and i wish that u get your independence soon and be more free to live your life the way u wish and want .

    just remember we r all here a family and friends u can talk to anytime u want

    Reply to Jessy
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  • 25-34_f_b_h2_f3
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    Really felt for you when I read this, very sorry! glad to have you back.

    Reply to NotHere
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  • 35-50_m_w_h3_f4
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    Welcome back Reem. My heart aches for your ordeal.

    Reply to JonDow
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  • 12-16_m_w_h3_f1
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    welcome back
    fuck for every one in you life
    The most important psychological comfort

    Reply to joiii
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  • I‘m also very sorry you had to go through this. I hope you‘re actively working on a way to leave your country. Don‘t give up on this. I‘m not saying all your problems would go away the minute you leave, but being surrounded by a community and being out -even if just to those people who are not your own people are a good way to start. I wish you all the best and may things become easier for you!

    Reply to globetrotter47
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  • 25-34_f_w_h1_f3
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    I can totally relate and understand what you have been through the confrontation the questions the broken trust. I am so sorry u had to go through this. Yet am really glad u managed to cone back and have the courage to find a space for yourself to be who u want to be. Plz be sure that you have a bunch of supporters here who have your back. Welcome back skystone

    Reply to Zeezidan
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  • 25-34_f_w_h1_f3
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    Welcome back! I'm so sorry for what you have gone through and so glad you're back. It's good that you're taking precautions to stay safe. Pretending to be straight is sometimes the only way to function normally... I hope you'll be able to leave the country, or at least, leave home.

    Reply to MiraAli
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  • 17-24_f_w_h2_f1
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    That's awful. Glad you're back. Incognito mode now. Don't even bother with a regular browser. And also make sure your parents didn't install a keylogger on your computer.

    • Default-avatar
      Comment

      Incognito Mode is not fool proof. Her parents can still find out her online activities unfortunately.

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    • 25-34_f_w_h1_f3
      Comment

      Enlight us more on the keylogger and how incognito is no full proof guys? Yet also if we keep thinking this way that they can still know what we do online we will always be in constant fear and this is just exhausting

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    • 17-24_f_w_h2_f1
      Comment

      Not everyone has to think this way. Just skystone here faced consequences of being found out so she needs to take extra precautions till she finds a way out. It's not fool proof but it does makes things a touch less easier. The keylogger is the main culprit. If they can keep track of skystone's key strokes then they'll track everything that she's up to. Here's an article on wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Detect-and-Remove-Keyloggers

      Of course skystone, please change your passwords everywhere and make sure that they can only be reset through your phone and email (if you get another number then even better).

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