Hi everybody, I hope you are all doing well
Lately, I have been conflicted because I realize that I must eventually come out to my family. I know I want to one day marry another man and have a family...but I am worried about how they will take the news, especially that I know that much of my family is religious will try to use that as a mask for their homophobia. I live in America, so even if the worst possible situation happened, I can just cut off relations with my family...but I really don't want to do that. I guess I just want it all...I want to come out and for my family to eventually accept me, the same way they do now. I also think that because I live in America and because I am able to live as openly gay, it's also my duty to come out and to do my small part in making arabs more knowledgable about gays: that we are normal and halal, we want to find love just like everybody else. Right now, I am mostly out to my friends and very few people in my family, like my mom and two of my cousins (who found out about me, i didn't come out to them.) My mom was never very accepting, especially that I told her when I was only 15 (I am 21 now), but I feel after all these years she is slowly starting to come around. My other 2 cousins, one of them he is accepting and says that being gay is halal but I don't think he agrees with getting married. My other cousin thinks I can change.
I guess I am just asking for words of encouragement, and any tips you think might help me. I'm stressed out about it a lot, especially with my family here and in Masr always asking me when I'm going to get married. I always feel like I want to burst out, because I want to get married....just not to who they think I do. For me, it's not a matter of if I come out, it's when and how...and how I can help my family to understand I am not a bad person for wanting to spend my life with a man...