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secretly gay people in a heterosexual marriage?

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i have had this bad luck of falling for men who are married and keep this fact from me. its not happened once or twice but too often to count and im getting so sick of it!!!

its not the marriage that is hurtful. its that they hide it from you for weeks until you find out by asking around or they finally admit it after you ask why this particular person keeps calling you and why hes calling her his darling.

i feel bad breaking up with them even if we have amazing chemistry because i know theyre not happy in the actual marriage and its just for cover for thieir family but i cant have an affair with a married person regardless of their sexuality. its not in me to do that! and no matter how much they cry and beg and how much i cry myself thinking of losing them in the end its not worth the huge headache that comes with this but am i making the right decision leaving such relationships? or should i stay and find a way they get a divorce by confronting his wife with whats really happening? i dont know! im just tired of hiding and regrets. .

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  • 17-24_f_w_h2_f1
    Advice

    That is so frustrating and I'm so sorry it happened so many times to you! I don't think that you can expect any one like that to up and leave their wife. I suppose the only viable option here is to lay your cards on the table in the beginning itself: If you're married then I'm not interested. And do your research on them (social media I mean) before or after you date. No point in getting emotionally invested in people who won't feel the same way about you.

    Reply to Edel
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  • 17-24_f_w_h1_f4
    Advice

    omg, of course not! Don't talk to his wife ! do you know the pain you're going to put her throw ? do you know how ashamed he will be?!
    do you know what could happen if she spoke with Police or kinda?
    you're going to hurt him and eventually losing him...

    and i know you're in pain and i'm sorry for this, but i have a friend who was forced into straight marriage and i know how stressful it is that he can't tell any guy he meets that he's married because that guy won't ever understand the society pressure he had gone through that made him marry a straight girl!

    try to understand that this is not his choice and he's a victim here... his only mistake was not telling you the truth, but his reasons are understandable. please don't lose him if you love him! you could travel or seek asylum together... there's a way out of this.

    and i'm sorry again for what you've been through.. best.

    Reply to Amira-S
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  • 17-24_f_w_h1_f4
    Advice

    omg, of course not! Don't talk to his wife ! do you know the pain you're going to put her throw ? do you know how ashamed he will be?!
    do you know what could happen if she spoke with Police or kinda?
    you're going to hurt him and eventually losing him...

    and i know you're in pain and i'm sorry for this, but i have a friend who was forced into straight marriage and i know how stressful it is that he can't tell any guy he meets that he's married because that guy won't ever understand the society pressure he had gone through that made him marry a straight girl!

    try to understand that this is not his choice and he's a victim here... his only mistake was not telling you the truth, but his reasons are understandable. please don't lose him if you love him! you could travel or seek asylum together... there's a way out of this.

    and i'm sorry again for what you've been through.. best.

    Reply to Amira-S
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  • dont ever never talk to his wife :s

    Reply to upnormalgirl
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  • 25-34_m_w_h1_f4
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