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coming out as transwoman

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It's not the first or last misfortune i get
But surely this is the hardest
I been very Naive and unwise
I let my self go very far... I even become very close to for fell my destiny
I became very open to the world....
Suddenly i had a hard slap on my face
A hard blade cut my chest through my heart
I full down broken wings
My judgment day began
Loss her, kill her, parry her once and for all or face the worst, that was the deal
Wounded, unknowing what to do, and all alone, couldn't find any other hope
I give her up......
But it's my soul, giving her up is a death sentence for me
That all happen when i come out to my wife ....
IT was inevitable .. I couldn’t hide it anymore
She says: what happened to you, who you are ?
I : ovoid her and get into my room.
She: came after me and broke the door , and stand in my face and shouted talk to me
I want to know and I will know
In this time i was planing to run away an get Immigrate to Canada
Been in HRT for 5 months( by my self no med care !!), i was almost ready
I : go away I don’t want to talk
She said: what happened to your voice, why do you have feminie clothes , all that mackup , what is going on?
As she was crying and desperate .. I felt amm i don’t know something like Gloating or the joy of victory . She was the biggest block in my way
I: with a yellow smile. Am not what you think I’m
She: eyes wide open. Harts stop ..
I: am not a man . Am a woman, maybe not like you but in a way,
And then i take off that stupid shirt and pants am wearing, and show here my smoothie body in a black net bra and thong
She fall down.. Then i show her that butterfly tattoo on my back
I lift her speechless and went to the bathroom and but on some light mackup and my wig
And come back for her
She was as I lift her on the ground
I looked to her and says so honey.. Your move?
She stares at me for long she was chocked she knows i have a Fear of confrontation
She tried to gather her self and set
She said: so am married for almost 9 years and have 3 k**s from a woman
How?
I: how what? How we married, its just i had to do what my family forced me to do,
She said: but you said you love me!
I : i am that’s true !.... What cant a woman love another woman
She said: do you really mean that ?
But you are a good man and fully manly !!
I: all that was acting , pretending to survive
She said: so tell me who knows about you
I: no one , except my doctor my psychiatrist
She said: and your family ?
I : no one
She said: i want you to answer my next question
Did you have a gay sex ?
I don’t know why I lied about this, in this time i had a boyfriend
I: no not yet
She said: and you think you could do it, being with a man
I: am a woman why not
In this moment I thought it will all end here and am wining
But she, the very feminine nature
She stands up and slaps me hard on my face and shouted
Lasting to me missy or Mr. or whatever you are
I married to a man and I know that all this is not true, and I know you need help
So it's like that, either you put on your cloths and come now with me to a doctor to see you or I will go to the media and tell the all world that I marred a fag a sissy and I will say who you are and who your family is
So chose now
my mind stopped, I don’t know is it the slap or the evil look in her eyes, but I was scared, just imagining what she said she will do
I said: can't we find another way?
She ; hihi nonono, I won't give up , I won't give you what you want.
So?? … she was very hilarious and shouting
I felt as my entire dreams goon
She sucks all my positive power
I said I will do all what you want, but plz don’t do that
She grabs me by my hear and shouted first things first , she get a scissors and cut my long heir, and she pool my clothes and cut them of me and throw me male clothes
Put those on Mr.
And be reedy we are going to the doctor
And she close the room door and go
I couldn’t hold myself , I cried , what I have done, what will I do, I lost every thing
since then i live in hill, i stopped my hormone, i looked in my room most time , i cant go out,
she want the man she thought she know
and i want to be the woman i am
help.......

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  • I am so sorry you're going through this. I hope after your wife calms down, you and your wife can work it out on friendly terms. i'm so sorry she's threatening to report you. I wish there was something I could do to help. Just know that we're out here and send our love and support to you. Stay Strong!

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  • 17-24_f_w_h3_f1
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    Anonymous
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    U are strong

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  • i hate it when i feel like a standby-er .. unable to make anything to relief the trauma we - LGBT community - face everyday when we: come out, deal with parents' suspicious-ness, fear persecution everyday, hear about the crackdown on LGBT in our own country, and hear how god hates us....

    if there's anything we can do for you, don't hesitate to ask for it!

    Reply to Amira_Salah
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  • 12-16_m_w_h4_f1
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  • Welcome to the party babes! And if someone has a problem with you, Eat them! ❤❤

    Reply to ThatKindOfPerson
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  • 12-16_m_a_h4_f1
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    honey, even though it doesn't seem like it things will get better in the future i promise.

    Reply to ray
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  • 17-24_f_w_h2_f4
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    stay strong we`re here to support you

    Reply to RowanM
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  • 25-34_f_w_h1_f3
    Advice

    I don't know what to tell you it is a very difficult situation. I hope you and your wife manage to find a solution that is acceptable by the both of you. It will never be fair to both of you you will both be hurt but u need to remember that u have kids that u need to look after. But for a start i think you should apologize u have hid who you really are from her i understand how that must have been a huge burden on you to be living like that. But put yourself in her shoes she has just realised that all her life was a lie and she didn't hear it from you it seems that she accidently found out which is worse. I don't think i am in any position to advice i am no therapist but what i can say is that i don't see any way out but seperation in house seperation you would remain married in the eyes of your family and friends and kids yet u both know that u r not together . She needs to understand that u r what u r and that u won't and can't change and u need to understand that she is not your enemy she is not the reason for your situation her presence in your life was the result of a decision you took. I don't really think she will go along with her threat she would be jeoprdising not just you but herself her family and kids she is angry and shr needs to calm down and i hope that when she does she would be able to see a different solution that would help you and your family get through it. It will get better it will be ok eventually just hang in there. I am sorry if any of what i said hurt in anyway i am only trying to help as the best of my knowledge

    Reply to Zeezidan
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