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Random thoughts.

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Good day everyone! I'm new here, while browsing the website and reading posts I've decided to share my thoughts.
The community and family I'm coming from is very conservative where being different is a big deal.

Since early ages I was always attracted to girls. Had some crashes, but not more than that. I was always afraid what if someone from family or community will know it. Its will be a huge scandal, here I'm more concerned about my parents. They have high hopes on me. Afraid to break their trust. That would break their hearts. The other thing which bothers me a lot is religion. Im so confused. I know its Ramadan and I'm supposed to be praying. But cant concentrate on prayers. So many thoughts in my head.
Its sad to know that we are still living in the world where you are judged for who you are. .

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  • Hi, first of all welcome and thanks for sharing your thoughts. I can say with confidence that most of us on this site felt this way and some of us still do. There is a lot of fear, guilt, confusion especially those of us from conservative families. One of the most important things you should commit to is not feeling guilty all the time by simply accepting that this is who you are and that it's part of life's natural course for you to explore your identity and eventually to come to terms with it. There are a lot of very religious gay Muslims in the world, faith and identity can definitely be reconciled. The real issue here is your family. Many of us never came out to our families and probably never will, there is no reason why you should if you feel it would break your family apart. Just live your life day by day and tell them if they ask about marriage that you prefer to focus on yourself and your career. That's what I did and they finally left me alone.

    Before you face the issue of identity you need to first eliminate all sources of guilt because it will do you no good! Very hard to feel happy yet guilty, being gay is not a sin in any way regardless of what you are told.

    • 25-34_f_f_h1_f3
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      Thank you so much for your advice and support. You are right most of us going through the same routine and stuff. Just want to have peace of mid...

      This was helpful! Flag
    • 35-50_f_w_h3_f4
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      Peace of mind... something we all yearn for

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    • 25-34_f_f_h1_f3
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      At least here we can support each other and may be find answers to those questions that bother us the most.

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    This was helpful! Flag

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