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But not my sister

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I have more or less come out of the closet with some friend and certain family members, i.e my brother and sister.

The thing about my brother and sister, is that they are supposed to be very open minded. we have a ton of gay friends which they accept whole heartedly, But when I came out to them, the first response I got was, No, not my sister.

Since then we haven't really talked about it, and I have been forced to act out that I am either straight or Bi, that Girls are just a phases.

Why are they ok with others and not me, I don't understand
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  • 25-34_m_w_h1_f4
    Experience

    i had the SAAAAAME experience! my siblings were very supportive of gay people and loved movies about gay couples so i thought theyd be the perfect people to come out to and as soon as i did..... my relationship with them soured! they did not accept me until years later. i guess it just takes time. they were in shock. i dont know why some people are only truly homophobic when a family member is gay. i lost so much respect them because i thought their level of understanding was much deeper than that. we're better now but i will not forget how they made me feel. i was so alone for those first few years when i needed them most.

    just so you know it will take time but they will come around. they just need time but its just really disappointing. i imagine a lot of people are like us with similar experiences with not just family but also close friends.

    • 25-34_f_b_h3_f4
      Comment

      Oh i haven't even gotten started with the response from the closet friends, thing is my siblings are religious ... So I am sure they won't come around

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  • 25-34_f_w_h3_f2
    Comment

    My childhood friends were like that. They all seemed to open minded and accepting and tolerant until I came out to them and they didn't want to be friends, which is weird because they seemed far from what one would describe as "homophobic." It's this weird attitude of "I understand them but I don't want to be near them."

    With family it's much more hurtful though because they're flesh and blood and can't be replaced. I'm sorry you're going through that!

    Reply to Reem
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  • 35-50_f_b_h1_f1
    Comment

    I think it's easier to feel sympathetic with someone who is not related to them, as long as it doesn't disturb their safe zone they can deal fine with anything, even death people can deal with it way much better when it's someone doesn't concerns them or not that dear, as long as their lives is intact so it's fine, but by coming out to your family, you make them test everything they said they believed in, and they should act on it too to show you the understanding, acceptance, and tolerating who you are. I think you shouldn't take it personal because it's not just about you, it's also about them and what they really believe in. I agree that time can solve a lot of things, don't force it on them and they will come around.
    Wish you the best of luck .

    Reply to NadineAl
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  • 25-34_f_b_h3_f4
    Comment

    I think at this point, just avoiding talking to them about it seems fine, the best is to try and move out of the house so that I don't have to live a double life ?

    Reply to agedgrapes
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  • I'm curious if anything has changed since you posted this about your siblings not accepting you? Sometimes people react in shock and then eventually come around to acceptance & it seems hopeful that they will eventually since they've accepted others in their lives who are gay. But like the NadineAl said sometimes ppl are more able to accept things that aren't so closely linked to them. I wish you the best of luck though and keep us posted!

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  • 17-24_f_f_h3_f3
    Comment

    So much hypocrisy in our society unfortunately..Everyone is "open minded" until its about them.

    Reply to Delusions
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  • 25-34_m_w_h1_f4
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