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thoughts on giving up

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i see examples of closeted gay friends who give up too soon on their future and give in to family pressure by getting married and living miserably stuck in that loveless marriage for sometimes years. its not very fair to the person theyre married to and not fair to the kids when they have any b-coz the passion and love for raising them is not there. everything in their life becomes a mistake that they regret.

if your thinking of giving up its not worth it. you will never ever be happy if you do that. if your gay you have to accept this is who you are. im not close to my family and i lost a lot of happiness in younger years b-coz they were not there to support me. its fine. i realised today i wouldve been many times unhappier if i let them win by controlling me and my future. now i am in complete control of my love life.

met amazing people b-coz i gave myself that chance. .

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  • @skyflake, this is for you

    I've dreamed many dreams that never came true.
    I've seen them vanish at dawn.
    But I've realized enough of my dreams thank the Lord,
    To make me want to dream on.

    I've prayed many prayers when no answer came,
    Though I've waited patient and long,
    But answers have come to enough of my prayers
    To make me keep praying on.

    I've trusted many a friend that failed,
    And left me to weep alone,
    But I've found enough of my friends that are really true,
    That will make me keep trusting on.

    I've sown many seeds that have fallen by the way,
    For the birds to feed upon,
    But I've held enough golden sheaves in my hand,
    To make me keep sowing on.

    I've drunk from the cup of disappointment and pain
    I've gone many days without song,
    But I've sipped enough nectar from the Roses of Life
    To make me keep living on!

    • 17-24_f_b_h1_f2
      Experience

      love that :) sums up my feelings. some people think im being selfish putting myself ahead of others. i think its selfish the other way around. spent my childhood deceiving myself to please others and at some point enough's enough.

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    • 25-34_f_w_h3_f3
      Advice

      When you say you spent your childhood deceiving yourself to please others; what exactly do you mean? Staying closeted and pretending to be straight (having boyfriends and so)? Or staying closeted, but letting your life be ruled by others (the choices in your life - for example who you're allowed to hang out with and stuff)? It's not selfish to choose your own destiny. They either accept you for who you are or let you go. But, it's selfish of them to try and change a person in their own mixed-up image of what you should be or become. A lot of families are missing out some wonderful people; just because they can't see outside "the box". I find it strange that a mother is able to forgive, for example, a son who has done nothing but hurt her (and not to mention all the forbidden things like alcohol and drugs - anyways that's between him and God), but isn't able to accept a gay son. How can a mother who has given birth to a child, raised him with her morals and beliefs, witnissed him making his first babysteps, his first word......drop him like a rock, just like that? I don't believe a mother could do that without ignoring heart, but I'm sure she's capable of it when pressure is there. I think mothers blame themselves and feel guilty. Anyhow, I'm losing my point here......people always go back to their roots. Maybe not today, not tomorrow, but someday. We always see everything from our point of view, but it helps sometimes to see things from the other side. From their perspective. To stand in the person's shoes; to understand where they're coming from. In our society we are pressured to live up to the expectations set up by family etc. and to keep the honor and family's name high. That every thing you do (the bad and good) will affect the family in every form. "What will they say about us?" "Our honor is destroyed" "I can never face my friends in the mosque now" etc. It's all about what people say, feel or think about the family. Instead of thinking of their child who is in a vulnerable position; they think of the people. I can understand where they're coming from; they too are pressured. Even though deep down they love their child and want to protect it, but it's what society demands them to do. So they beat the child up, call it names, say hurtful things- anger, then they try to cure the child or mourn with grieve, blame themselves- denial..finally when the child is still "not cured" they accept it by saying "you can do whatever you want; as long as you get out of this house and not show your face ever again". So the child leaves; never to return again; probably curse them to go to hell. Lives through hell to get to happiness...to find love elsewhere. One heartbreak after the other the child (now mature) finally sees that happiness and love comes from within. The family (not all, but the important people: mom, dad, sis etc.) finally realize they did wrong and that their behaviour towards the "child" was inhuman. They regret the past and try to make it right. So the search begins for the "child", but the child is toooo hurt to go back and face them. They've left a mark. Until one day it realizes that in order to get rid of this mark; she must go back and face them. This time it's different; this time she's strong and powerful! Prepared to face a war she walks in and finds something she has never imagined in her life. Parents filled with grieve, sorrow, pain and regret in their eyes...not the family she left behind years ago. There's one thing she has learned; that to forgive is better than to live in anger and hate. Anger and hate are like poison; it sucks up all your positive energy and darkens your aura. To be better...in heart, soul and deeds is to show your humanity. No way anyone could bring you down with that much power! In life we only get one dad..one mom..irreplaceable. Life is too short and we never know when we might lose them. When we do lose them and we didn't get a chance to see them or talk to them; anger and hate will be replaced by regret. Regret is much more toxic; cause forgiving yourself is much more harder than to forgive another. As long as we walk on this earth; we are giving the chance to make things right. Pride is worth nothing in the end....

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  • 25-34_m_w_h1_f4
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