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Worried about what lies ahead

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I have been in a relationship for almost a year now and things are going great with my girlfriend. I'm still very young, so the topic of marriage has not really come up with my family. But say ten years from now when I'm thirty years old, still unmarried, living with my parents, and always around my "best friend". Does it get any more suspicious than that? Especially that my girlfriend will be in the same situation.

Even though my parents are not really the type that desperately want me to get married and etc. (it's completely up to me), but when the time comes, I can't help but think that circumstances will get them thinking about any suspicions they have had and eventually draw to conclusions about me. .

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  • 17-24_f_b_h1_f2
    Advice

    this is a common problem to have and if i were you i would only worry about that time when it comes. who knows what will happen until then? relax and take things step by step. all of us were in your position at some point in our adult lives. don't stress about it now because you never know what lies ahead and nobody else does.

    • 17-24_f_w_h3_f2
      Comment

      I agree. We can never be certain of what lies ahead but I'm not really sure of what to expect either. I just worry when I get caught up in the 'what ifs'. That's why I think I should take at least a little precaution to avoid some suspicions. Though whatever the precautions may be, they are not false at all. True plans and desires.

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  • 25-34_m_w_h4_f4
    Advice

    I agree with what skyflake said, what's the point in worrying? You're still young and time will tell what lies ahead, worrying about it beforehand won't change a thing.

    Reply to Samir82
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  • 17-24_f_b_h1_f3
    Comment

    Eh. I disagree. Perhaps you shouldn't stay up at night, but it's important to give it a thought. If you can, clue your parents in to your disinterest in marriage, in a way that won't threaten them. It'll at least get them used to the idea. I made a mistake of exaggerating my interest in marriage to compensate for how scared I was, and now I don't know how to get myself out of that path. There are others, though, education, a career... you just have to get them used to the idea and find your opportunities.

    • 17-24_f_w_h3_f2
      Experience

      They already know my thoughts on marriage and possible future plans, so I'm not worried much about that part. But like what I said to skyflake, although I can't tell what lies ahead, I don't know what to expect exactly either. And I agree, it Is important to give it a thought. That's why it's also important to be cautious and try to avoid a possibly arising contingency. My mother already says some things sometimes that really freak me out, especially when I get supportive of LGBT individuals around her. Though I just laugh it off (but extremely terrified inside for 3 seconds) - "No mom, I'm not a lesbian. I just think everyone's free to do and be whoever they want". So the idea of them finding out... Eek!

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    • 17-24_f_b_h1_f2
      Comment

      i like that approach.

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  • 17-24_f_w_h2_f1
    Advice

    You're lucky. My parents want me married off by 24. Well, you just have to make sure that you keep yourself busy and independent. When marriage is brought up, say you're not ready. If the pressure gets intense then have a talk with your parents. Say you're just not the marriage type.

    That's what I'll do. And if things get really bad then I move out and the amount of contact I'll keep with my family will depend on them.

    • 25-34_f_w_h3_f2
      Advice

      I'd agree with this. That's what I keep doing anyway. Keep yourself busy with the things that do matter. They are not things of value in our culture but they are things that will help you build your independence, confidence and self-worth.

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  • 35-50_f_w_h3_f4
    Comment

    In my browser it didn't show the whole title at first and I thought this would say "worried about what lies (people say about me)". I had a rant to share about that but maybe it's time for a new topic as I have been taking over all of yours =P

    Reply to Joon
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  • 25-34_m_w_h1_f4
    Experience

    me too. kept asking them for the hands of women i knew they would never approve of. a mistake getting myself into a situation like that. just go with the flow. anything else will be suspicious.

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